Pore me

I have one pain-in-the-ass pore on the side of my nose.

I have no idea what its problem is.  The rest of my face is fine; complexion's great.

But this one pore has decided that it's going to embarrass me on a regular schedule.

I just KNOW, if I talk to a dude I think is handsome,
I'm going to have a zit like a stop sign by the end of the conversation.

I call it the "Chastity Pore".
~
(you know you have one too)

Dear Garnier

While I am enjoying your new BB cream, I have to wonder what kind of nasally-challenged focus group you tried this product on before launching it.

It's like a thousand granny-roses are waging war on my complexion.

My face smells like a fucking funeral home.

If I was a YouTube beauty vlogger ...

... and I wanted more channel views & comments,

I would post a "My Top 5 Pantene Products" video.

I lacquer. I lacquer a lot.

So I invited my girlfriend over to hang out tonight.

You know, typical girls' night in: Watch Bridesmaids, eat excessively garlicky snacks, cultivate our boozehag skills & do mani/pedis.

And then I realized that last one means she'll see my obnoxious nail polish collection.

I love the girl, but I'm not sure I survive the shame of lugging the 22 pound storage bin out of my bedroom for her to see the depth of my addiction.

Should I conveniently forget we were going to paint our nails? Get her too drunk to remember her name, let alone what she witnessed? Cull the bin of a couple of dozen bottles?

I am fairly certain the panicky feeling I am experiencing is usually followed by judgy looks, stern tough-love comments from friends & family and a 28 day stint at a "spa".

I wonder if they do gel nails there ...